Briefly on Breakthroughs

I think I made a breakthrough on my project this Sunday. I felt clogged up the whole week and then finally, something came through that made sense to me and actually got me excited again about this project. Just listening to a talk about race and how racism is wholly ignored in society today, how no one wants to acknowledge is anymore was the push I needed. It's a strange side effect of all this politically correct talk. We just don't talk. But it's not like it disappeared, it's still standing in the middle of the room waiting to be addressed. And the maddening thing is that when Asian-Americans start to talk about race, it's brushed aside. "Oh, those lovely Asians are harmless, they don't mean all that."-kind of attitude is infuriating. But a lot of Asian-Americans don't want to confront this issue either, but how far is that attitude getting us?

So as I was feeling unheard, ignored while I trying to talk about how stereotypes affect me, I figured, fine. Fine, I won't say anything because they just dismiss it as preaching. But how to reach people without letting them in on my topic until they are halfway into it? That is my challenge. The sneak attack way. It's like in thumb wrestling, when you are grappling with the person and then all of a sudden the pointer finger reaches from the side and pins your thumb down, WHAM, sneak attack! So that's the strategy. But I would also like to hear from other Asian/Asian American women, or even I think at this point, anyone else who has an opinion about this topic. I am planning on a email survey, to present images, questions with which they can respond however they see fit. All those voices together would be great supporting text for the book I imagine. Because this issue it beyond me now. I mean, so many of us deal with it, it's so old hat for us, but imagine my surprise when I met people in my class who had never heard of it before. So it just needs to be brought into the light and talked about.

That's the point of my project now. Just let it be talked about. Put into an arena and have people express what they feel, tell their stories about the way these stereotypes have either affected them, or not. But as long as there is dialog about it, that's the main thing, then it's good.

I had some really great talks with people at school. I was feeling paranoid and ostracized last week and now I am in the middle of a great community of people who understand because they have been there too. I really appreciate all the help. Hopefully in terms of a resolution with the instructor, we can get to something positive, but that meeting has yet to happen. I am hoping for the best, but preparing myself for nothing to really change. But at least I tried and I won't look at myself a year from now and regret remaining silent.