Midterm and Fetish

This past week was something of a blur.


Went to a show last Wednesday night, at the Kearny Street Workshop called, Fetish: the Culture of Fear and Desire. I don't often go to art shows unless its required of me for a class. Museums I will go to when the special exhibits are interesting, but for the most part I am almost alway disappointed by the shows. I found out about this show during a community arts oriented class and saw the little posting on the KSW's calendar and thought, well perfect, this is exactly what I am studying for my thesis, I should really give it a try. The postcard to advertise the show was a little misleading I will admit. I thought it was going to be a slicker event than it turned out to be. The actual event was small, in a room in the Mission, which was fine, space being kinda tight in SF, but the statement of the overall show was a bit washy.

You walk in and the description of "fetish" is on a large print out. Basically the definition of "fetish" and the recent usage of the word in relation to the Asian female body, both the political and cultural implications of that fetish. That was a good start for me, all this doubt about whether or not what I was doing for my thesis, the validity of it all was backed up by the show's opening statement. I mean, here were artists tackling the same issue as I was and it was a collective struggle. The first few works were intriguing. The first were large laquerware circles, kind of old Asian furniture type, glossy with, at first glance, painted irises on them. When you went in closer you realized that the flowers were made up of cut out images of porn, Asian fetish porn. And even though most of it were women's asses in not so flattering positions, you couldn't help but think how beautiful the forms were. The second was a piece about Asian women advertising descriptions of their ideal man, more specifically their height. I didn't realize that a man's height was such a big attractive draw for Asian women, but this artist took a whole bunch of their "height requirements" from the personal ads they had posted. Their pictures were then put on acrylic squares and posted at the height requirement they gave. Me being 5'5" I was able to see only about 2 of them comfortably. Otherwise there was a lot of tippy toe-ing all night trying to get a peek at the other women. But they were too tall. Which is I suppose the point.

The other exhibits were much less conceptual and a bit weak. I know art today is less about craft and representational art and more about concept and ideas, but I just couldn't get past the bad production. Maybe it's the designer's critical eye, but if you are going to show something to the public, make it nice and don't make the viewer think about your medium and the flaws in it over the concept you are trying to communicate. Overall I would stop by the exhibit if you are in the area. 17th and Capp Street in the Mission, the third floor of the building.

I think it gave me some ideas for how to deal with the images I have gathered.
That is a major stumbling block for me at this point. How do I use the images out there, the horrible stereotypes, and make them my own. To neither give them more power and voice, or misguide the viewer into seeing them as harmless. It's hard to pull myself apart from them as objectively as I can.

On that note, first week of midterms began today.
Basically a longer, more formal crit with guest designers who can comment on your work. The people who persented today were fine. It's all about how far along you have come with your idea and what you have produced. It's all about details and production at this point. I guess I gotta get going full speed now.

And GET THOSE SURVEYS GOING!! I will need them soon. Thanks y'all.

Crit Week #4

At least I think this is crit week #4. Midterm is coming up soon, for me specifically it is March 19th. So then that is when the hammer comes down. But for the most part I think I have settled on a form and direction. This last session of Thesis crit went pretty well. We actually ended early and I got feedback that went somewhere. It was good having made an important decision and then just moving forward with it.

It is going to be a multiple book project, each book dealing with various perspectives of the stereotypes that Asian-American women have to negotiate around daily. At this point I am thinking that I would like to have one book for each major stereotype, the Dragon Lady, the Lotus Blossum, and the Repressed War Victim/Prostitute. They all deal with sex, gender, and race, but each stereotype is so rich with images and content that they will make really compelling books. I managed to find a good book, out of print and therefore pricey at Green Apple, one called, Woven and Interlocking Book Structure that I think will help me develop the idea I have for treating the images of these stereotypes.

It's been a struggle as to whether or not I show the found images of the stereotypes in my work at all, but as talked about in my crit this last week, it's more about how I use them, how I edit their viewing that will be the most powerful voice. I can ridicule them, strip them of their voyeuristic destructiveness by showing only the parts I want, and in a specific way. This book about woven book structures is sort of like sculpture with paper in a 2D format. Kinda like when you were in kindergarten and they gave you strips of construction paper and you had to weave them in and out to make a paper place mat, but much more artfully done. That way the images are spliced, reconstructed, and used to my own editorial voice.

Then possibly a type only book with all the slurs, and gross sexual jargon used to exploit the Asian-American woman stereotypes. Just page after page of the words to really shock the reader into the never ending bucket of slime that exists, that polite company may not know about, but is present in our society. Then as a final book, my own voice, my own slant on a topic that has consumed my own artwork and experiences.

Throughout it all though, I would like other people's voices. I would love that to be a part of the plethora of voices in the book series. It NEEDS to be there, otherwise we are just willingly being complacent and silent about an issue that warps the way America exists. This topic needs to be brought to light with understanding, humor, and above all awareness of the many people who have to deal with it, whose identity is shaped by these stereotypes, an insidious type of racism. So if you haven't yet responded to the email survey, PLEASE DO!

LET YOUR VOICE BE HEARD!

The Email Survey

This is the email I sent out to people to respond to...

Hey guys,
As some of you might know, I am currently doing my last semester at school--the thesis semester. For my project, I am exploring stereotypes of Asian women; all different aspects of this in pop culture, the media, and our own day-to-day lives. I am interested in your thoughts.

The final form of the project will ultimately be in book form and I would like to incorporate your messages into the pages of the book. If you don't feel comfortable with me using what you say, that's fine. I would love to hear from you all, though--just let me know whether or not I can use your words in the book. Also, I may have to edit a bit to get things to fit nicely on a page or so, but I will send you a proof of it so you can approve or disapprove of the editing. I will let you know at all times what is going to be reproduced.

So I am asking for your thoughts.
These are a few questions to respond to, or if you would prefer to respond to images, I am including those as well.
Feel ok to be as honest as you can be. I am not looking for any answer in particular. Respond how you will. These questions are just discussion starters. Feel free to share your experiences. I will contact you if I am interested in using your responses.

Also go ahead and pass this email along to more people. Make sure they respond to this email address:
occidentalthesis@gmail.com

The more responses the better. It will be great to get your thoughts.
Thanks in advance for your cooperation!

Go Thesis!
Debbie Yoon
http://www.occidentalthesis.blogspot.com

Questions to Reflect On:

1. When was the first time you remember seeing an Asian/Asian-American woman in the media? What was it like?

2. What has been your experience with stereotypes of Asian/Asian-American women? How has this affected, or not affected you?

3. How do you handle stereotyping?

4. What preconceptions have you had of Asian/Asian-American women? In what ways have they been validated or not?

6. Or you can respond to these images.

The Call

I just sent out an email asking for stories, experiences with stereotypes, identity, images. I am hoping it will go out and further discussions, spur people to think about this issue. Although, we live in a world where the death of Anna Nicole Smith and Brittany's alleged three-some takes over the front pages, so I am not expecting miracles. Thanks again to all those I have spoken to about this. Onto Week #4 in Thesis Crit Land.

Briefly on Breakthroughs

I think I made a breakthrough on my project this Sunday. I felt clogged up the whole week and then finally, something came through that made sense to me and actually got me excited again about this project. Just listening to a talk about race and how racism is wholly ignored in society today, how no one wants to acknowledge is anymore was the push I needed. It's a strange side effect of all this politically correct talk. We just don't talk. But it's not like it disappeared, it's still standing in the middle of the room waiting to be addressed. And the maddening thing is that when Asian-Americans start to talk about race, it's brushed aside. "Oh, those lovely Asians are harmless, they don't mean all that."-kind of attitude is infuriating. But a lot of Asian-Americans don't want to confront this issue either, but how far is that attitude getting us?

So as I was feeling unheard, ignored while I trying to talk about how stereotypes affect me, I figured, fine. Fine, I won't say anything because they just dismiss it as preaching. But how to reach people without letting them in on my topic until they are halfway into it? That is my challenge. The sneak attack way. It's like in thumb wrestling, when you are grappling with the person and then all of a sudden the pointer finger reaches from the side and pins your thumb down, WHAM, sneak attack! So that's the strategy. But I would also like to hear from other Asian/Asian American women, or even I think at this point, anyone else who has an opinion about this topic. I am planning on a email survey, to present images, questions with which they can respond however they see fit. All those voices together would be great supporting text for the book I imagine. Because this issue it beyond me now. I mean, so many of us deal with it, it's so old hat for us, but imagine my surprise when I met people in my class who had never heard of it before. So it just needs to be brought into the light and talked about.

That's the point of my project now. Just let it be talked about. Put into an arena and have people express what they feel, tell their stories about the way these stereotypes have either affected them, or not. But as long as there is dialog about it, that's the main thing, then it's good.

I had some really great talks with people at school. I was feeling paranoid and ostracized last week and now I am in the middle of a great community of people who understand because they have been there too. I really appreciate all the help. Hopefully in terms of a resolution with the instructor, we can get to something positive, but that meeting has yet to happen. I am hoping for the best, but preparing myself for nothing to really change. But at least I tried and I won't look at myself a year from now and regret remaining silent.

A Good read when feeling hopeless

an interesting look at talking about race in America by Alan

Race Relations: Is Progress Impossible?
Sometimes it seems impossible. Sometimes the riffs and tensions go untalked about. That's why I like movies like White Men Can't Jump that have characters who aren't afraid to reveal the stereotypes they hold about one another, that have white characters who can talk explicitly about their whiteness. I know someone doing a research project about Samuel L. Jackson. In all of his interviews either he or the interviewer somehow brings up Blackness--is it hard being a Black actor? What about this Black/white scene? But how often do you read interviews with white actors where their race becomes the central focus of their identity? And some white people have the gall to say there's no such thing as white privilege.

Hold on. I'm going to take a step back, because I wanted to talk about progress in race relations, and even though I am speaking the truth, some white person reading this is already thinking, "An angry, white-hating reverse-racist Asian bastard mouthing off. I've heard it before." The point I was trying to make is that sometimes we need to just say what's on our minds. I know white people, behind closed doors, with no people of color around, talk about how "The Chinese really are..." or "Not that I'm a racist, but have you noticed most Black people..." And people of color do the same thing. Most people of color in America, not just African-Americans, have a fear of white people, and most, for most of their lives, are (rank-wise) underneath some white person, if not many... bosses, patrons, teachers, supervisors, the media, whoever it is, watching them... they can't be too radical, too political, too angry... I've tried it, believe me! When you're a person of color in this country, you can't say what's really on your mind.

And I'll take the other side of the coin, too... I know white people can't say what's really on their minds either. Everybody harps on political correctness, not because it's a bad idea, being sensitive, being progressive... it's just that you can't force it on people without explaining the reasoning behind it. Some of the most bitter people in America are 20-30-something white, straight male protestants. All of a sudden they can't be ignorant or insensitive--they have to watch everything they say.

So we have white people bitter and repressed and people of color bitter and repressed. And then Newsweek and Time act all surprised when there are race riots. Why? I'm amazed the riots are not all over the place.

One interesting instance of the explosion of racial tension is the impetus for my writing this article: an incident at a prestigious liberal arts college in America known for its activism. Every April there's an Asian Awareness Month, and to kick off the month there is a convocation.

The school newspaper covered the convocation using a Jewish-American reporter, who probably had three term papers hanging over her head plus a deadline. A convocation doesn't seem a serious event: she can take a few notes, talk to a couple of people and write her article in a half-hour (all of this is my assumption of her situation). Then the angry letters came in from Asian-Americans on campus, primarily those heavily involved with the campus group sponsoring the convocation but also some others. The outrage seemed to be directed specifically at the writer of the article. They called her journalism shoddy, called her ignorant, told her she was perpetuating racism and misunderstanding.

Then, floods of letters from (I assume, white) friends of hers vouched for her efforts, saying that she is the nicest person and that she means well and really tries to research her articles as best as she can and doesn't appreciate the personal attacks.

But the attacks kept coming. The school newspaper, a mostly Jewish-American-run paper, definitely kept out a lot of anti-reporter sentiment, because, as is the natural human instinct, they were protecting their own (in more than one sense). Then the Asian-American organization on campus published their own supplementary pamphlet to the school newspaper, with previously edited or non-published material, expressing due outrage at the offending article.

In the midst of all this, I was wondering, "What does this all solve? Will the writer of the article really be enlightened? Will the campus? Does this make the Asian-American community appear any better in the eyes of the campus at large?" I read the critiques of the article. They made a number of valid points, about the continued exoticization of Asians or those of Asian descent, the perpetuated image of angry minorities with strange concerns, among others. Then I thought, "Why was it when I read the article, it didn't shock me... it didn't stand out to me as being weird?" It's not that I don't have the critical skills to tear apart a piece of writing, analyzing all the sociological implications, etc.

Then, a new light on the whole situation dawned on me. There's so much repressed, usually unexpressed, anger and misunderstanding between white people and people of color that the minute a certain key incident sparks one or both parties, they're out for blood. Nobody wants to enlighten anyone. Nobody wants to understand. I can sympathize with the Asian-American group's objectives, being an Asian-American myself. But I did not see as productive the singling out of this one writer. This is counterproductive. For one thing, all the attacks on this one person further perpetuate this image of people of color as angry minorities who just want to bitch and gripe. Secondly, direct attacks on one person end up demonizing that one person and making her responsible for a racist system. That's why the article, with all its faults, didn't strike me as odd. It's the journalistic and racist quality one can expect from almost any white-run publication but specifically from that particular school newspaper. If anything, the school newspaper and the general white American mentality should have been the object of attack. After all, what produced this white reporter's ignorance? I do believe her friends that she was well-intentioned and worked hard. I also believe she is a racist and ill-informed about minority issues. I don't believe it is just her, and I don't believe it is her choice.

We need to stop jumping down each other's individual throats, and we need to start expressing our offensive beliefs more explicitly. When we look at the big picture, and we talk when we are not fighting... maybe then, there can be racial progress in America. --A.Y. Siu

Week #3, the horror continues

So here I am in class typing this up so as to keep it fresh in my mind.

I had steeled myself for another round of ignorance and invisibility and found my fellow students were for the most part very supportive. That was comforting, but as soon as the 3 instructors walked in and saw me, they were all over me. Mainly to talk to me, as if it was imperative to talk to me separately so to stem the flood before it got out of control. Which I wanted to do, but also ready to just smile and nod when ignorance reared its ugly head.

They pulled me into another classroom and then began a crit. Which I was surprised at, I thought we were going to address what happened, to talk about how things would change. But it was as if it was forgotten, another misunderstanding pushed to the side and they had to "deal" with the difficult one, the one who squealed. I felt like a stuck pig.

The crit went as I thought, Karen, who is well read and familiar with race theory was very helpful and understanding. Her insights were good for me to focus further with my topic. Michael sat silently and every now and then interjected an strange comment that I felt bordered on wanting to tell me not to generalize again. He mentioned, that the generalizations I was making was the point of misunderstanding with us last week. I just shook my head and sighed, saying that I never said those things. I never said that all white men have these fetishes, but I think he is having a hard time distancing himself from the larger "White male" race, power dynamic. It is the larger cultural race struggle I was talking about, but that point was just lost, ignored because it was not understood. Leslie tried to compare my ideas with all the other stereotypes of other races, as if to make a point that these stereotypes exist in all cultures. I tried to explain that Asian female stereotypes are distinct in that gender, sex, and race are all intertwined into this "harmless" depiction of what the West thinks of the Asian female body. Another point lost, ignored.

And so I presented ideas of what I wanted to tackle.
As film perhaps? Presenting found images of Asian female stereotype? The craze of media tie ins for the geishafication of the audience, seen at the release of Memoirs of a Geisha, when Fresh and Banana Republic decided that kimono shirts and sake shampoo were necessary to recreate the Orient. Or do I refuse to show stereotypical images at all? Can I do it without all that? It's an interesting problem.

So I embark on solving these problems. And it will be an explorations of all this.

But as I was leaving the crit, Karen pulled me aside and let me know that if another problem arises that I should deal with it within the class and not let it escalate by talking to the department head. So I asked her if she knew what happened last week and she just said that she was told there was a misunderstanding. I wasn't surprised the "misunderstanding" was cloaked, but angered by that as well. So I told her what went down last Friday and her eyes widened when I told her about the "white men are the real minority" statement. Ah, the power of words. I explained that Leslie had been there and said nothing, so I felt that I had no one left to talk to. Also, hiding this kind of incident makes me compliant in letting myself be the victim of racism.

Another thing lost, ignored, pushed aside.

Well, any ideas of stereotypes that you bristle at when confronted with it? Specifically with heteronormative ideas of desire and beauty of Asian women?

Community means I am not alone...

So I had a great meeting with Tina, a professor I had previously in a class called Asian American Visual Culture. Thanks for meeting with me, Tina!

It was great to just talk about this past week's experience with someone who really understands this stuff. A real sense of relief when you don't have to second guess everything, when there is a sense of support and community. She was as shocked as most to hear about the blatant racism I encountered in class, but not surprised that it happened.

So on to my next crit and we will see what happens.

Strange Day in Higher Education

I am currently doing a thesis project as my last semester at CCA approaches. It's been a hard trek through art school trying to find what I believe is what I love to do. Thesis, the instructors say, is the culmunation of your experience at school and should be your last great work here. Honestly most students find it a requirement that is forced on them, but in the spirit of fun projects I willingly let myself into thesis with an optimistic eye.

So with various drafts of proposals I examined what I felt passionately about and proposed this as my thesis topic:

Are You a Rice Lover?

The idea of Asian Fetish is a sexual fantasy completely integrated into and accepted by mainstream society. The Geisha Girl, the Dragon Lady, the image of the total submissive female is the Western eye candy, the fetish that isn’t some kind of sexual deviancy. I would like to explore the slang terms associated with this fetish and the consequences of my own compliancy with this verbal assault.

Rice Lover, Asian Fever, Yellow Fever, Yellow Plague, Bamboo Fever, being a Pinkerton, Rice King, Rice Queen, Sticky Rice, Orientalist, capturing the Pokemon, plucking the flower of the Orient, harvesting the rice paddy, riding the Orient Express--all these terms span different levels of stereotypes persistent in today’s Western society and these are only the tip of the iceberg.

I would like to show that Asian fetishes not only affect the white imagination, but also have brainwashed the Asian one.

This is an issue, these stereotypes, that has plagued me since I was born an Asian female. This topic has sprouted up again and again for other project ideas, but I have never been able to use it until now. I was really excited about the freedom of exploration and investigation into an issue that is steeped with history and gross fetishization of the "East."

So in class I read my proposal, talked about the way these stereotypes have affected me, why they made me mad, the creepy websites out there advertising how to successfully date lovely Asian ladies and fulfill their fantasies. I got pretty excited, heated, and most of the women in class were totally with me, nodding their heads with recognition of similar instances in their lives.
I said I wanted to explore this fetish, why does the West see the East like this, why does this idea continue to wind its way into our lives. When will it stop?

After my presentation, I waited for feedback, some response. My fellow classmates had some good observations, but before they could continue, the instructor, one of three, but the only one in the room interjected.

So a little side note about the instructor, male, older than middle-age, white, well known designer with a successful firm, and notorious for being the difficult instructor in thesis.

The instructor said, well it sounds like to me that you are trying to preserve the pure blood lines of Asians and that all white men should not intermarry with them. He asked, so what, are you going to dress like a geisha all semester? You can't make such generalizations, that all Asian women feel this way, and that all white men feel like this. And that I should watch my language as I was sounding like a racist.

To which, in horror, I replied, I am not making broad generalizations. I don't assume to make any generalizations, these stereotypes and how they affect me is going to be what I am exploring, how the power dynamics between the West and the East are the real subject.

Well, he continued by citing examples of his friends that have Asian wives and the they are happy and in loving relationships. He then went on to say that another instructor's daughter-in-law was Chinese and how the instructor was Jewish. So I asked her, well I am sure your daughter-in-law has run into these stereotypes too and that she should ask her how it affects her. I again talked about the power dynamics and that it wasn't personal, it was about how the West has always dominated the East as female and that the stereotypes prove this to continue.

Then comes the true horror.
The instructor then went on to say that the real minorities were white men.
Then as if to catch himself, went on to joke, well Dutch white men were the real minority. (I assumed he was referring to his own dutch heritage.) I could only stand there in silence, I was so mad, it crazed me. And no one said anything. Not even the other instructor, with the Chinese daughter-in-law, stood there staring at me in silence. It was racism like I had never experienced and I was scared to death.

I didn't think I would be so afraid of saying anything, but I was so caught off guard, these instructors so authoritative that I didn't know what to say. To say I felt like a victim is more that enough. And I have always prided myself as being outspoken, willing to say anything in defense of injustice. And here I was in class, completely silenced. I was not expecting this kind of blatant racism in a classroom at CCA, nor in any other higher education environment. It was chilling the silence and I just let it go because if I was to speak any further I would have just broken down.

So then my crit was over and the class moved on as if I was just unfortunate roadkill.

To say that CCA touts diversity as it's power card is an understatement. They have been waving that banner as if to prove that among art schools, they are the most diverse. And yet the faculty and indeed the entire population of the school is far from real diversity. And even if they have a few people of color, it doesn't mean that they know how to talk about it, to support diversity with safe spaces to address our concerns.

The Student Services office had no resources to help me, and had no real strategy to deal with racist harassments. They tried to calm me down and told me I could try talking to the instructor and work this misunderstanding out, that the instructor was human too. I left, calmer outwardly, but further incensed.

I have an appointment to see the Chair of the Graphic Design Department to see what can be resolved. Hopefully something helpful will come of this discussion, but for now I am just frustrated.